i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
