Kiss
Puke
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
