You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
handjob tips. give me some.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
