Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
