Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
