Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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