Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Who died my cat blue again?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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