Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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