That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize