My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
