i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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