thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
