i just snorted my name. best moment ever
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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