Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
