he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Randomize
