It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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