ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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