Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
