I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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