About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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