I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
