Are we in a gay sports bar?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
