Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
