We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
