I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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