I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
