i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
