Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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