Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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