If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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