I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
