Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
cat food counts as protein by the way
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
