woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
