grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
