i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
