Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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