ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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