Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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