We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
