If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
