i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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