David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Little spoons don't ask big questions
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
