My nipple is on Facebook.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
