Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
