You can't motorboat a personality
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
