im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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