I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
