i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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