Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
