He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Randomize
