I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
