Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
