he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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