That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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