why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Drake has all the answers
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