So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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