everyone is single if you try hard enough
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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