My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
